Bienvenue! It’s been a minute. I apologize for that, but I hope you’ll understand. This is also a weird one, so thank you for being here.

I’m continuing the series of getting here in hopes that maybe someone out there is holding me accountable to my use of “Part I”, but that person may just be me. I guess the world may never know. However, I do want to shout out my international readers, I get a tremendous kick seeing the stats of all the places my readers are from, it makes my world seem less small, so I thank you, seriously.

This section is probably the most daunting to write, but also the most relieving, as I get to pour out the feelings behind getting rid of things that I held on to, and the general process of letting go.

Packing was never easy for me. I overpacked, under-packed, and I was that person that picked up an item that I had never worn in the two or three years, and said, I’ll wear this one day. Case in point: When I went to Paris for the first time, I found a beautiful cream lace cocktail dress that I knew would make an appearance to treat myself to a nice dinner and feel “Paris-y.” Long story short, never wore it. Not even once. Maybe one day I’ll lose weight (or not, and I’m okay with that) to fit in it again for a bridal shower or something. Likely not, but it’s on a boat now somewhere crossing the ocean, making its way to me, a few weeks or months more? Not sure, but people in the same lifestyle as me probably understand.

When I went to college, I never stayed in the same housing for more than a year. I also spent summers at home, so packing up and living the nomad lifestyle started then. However, as my style changed, so did my habit of accumulating weird stuff that I knew I’d never use but felt I needed. Relate? Can’t relate? After college it continued, with my first move to Memphis, then to Chicago, and back to Memphis. And I thought I finally settled into my home. With that came a lot of buying, trying to go from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom home. I needed furniture and decor to fill the “void”.  I’ll share photos of my home in Memphis in another post that went from “uh alright boring….to okay, I can live here happily, but then went to uh, I guess I’m moving to Africa?”

When I finally accepted that I was going to move overseas, packing was the hardest thing to conceptualize. I had decor for my house, seasonal items, books, kitchen items galore, still a closet full of clothes, random other things. Yet, did all of those things mean anything to me? Or should they even when I’m about to travel halfway around the globe?  

It began with clothes, paring down only what fit me after a pandemic, then to fabric. NO MORE POLYESTER EVER. Only cotton, linen, and other extremely breathable and light fabrics. If I did any shopping, I filled in the basics, invested in pieces that I knew would be good for hot weather or an event that I needed to attend. The more basic the item, the more I wanted it. And then found the concept of a French capsule wardrobe extremely interesting and something to aspire to. 

Check out what a capsule wardrobe is here: https://emilylightly.com/2019/07/classic-french-capsule-wardrobe/

Then came home items, decor and other such that never made it out past one season. Trash or Goodwill. I will say I left my winter holiday decor in my attic at the house, and as it’s September in Togo, I’m recalling when H reminded me that some things should be brought for sentimental purposes….I said “No way, I’ll figure out something when I’m there..” Well, I am here now getting anxious about all things winter (AS IT’S 90 DEGREES RIGHT NOW AND FOREVER)….Beauty items I was influenced to buy but hated and never used? Trash. Things that would only take up space in our current home but we wouldn’t use, like heavy winter sweaters and coats? To my parents house they went!

In short, packing seemed easy. Letting go of small things on FB marketplace for some ice cream cash was easy. What wasn’t? Saying goodbye with a million moves in-between.

After the school year ended, I was strictly in prepare for departure from Memphis mode. That meant getting the house ready to be rented, get all of my things packed, and moved to DC. Get the pets medical clearance forms ready for travel and importation, say goodbye to family, friends, places, and all things my life there. After dinner at my family’s home, I met up with two of my friends one last time at a local bar. We shared drinks, laughs, maybe some tears. Luckily for me, I lived within walking distance, and I made that walk one last time. The sounds of the frogs, or cicadas, rustling warm wind, music from a local bar on my way home made me realize that by the time I return to either check on the house or rent it again, things likely will have changed dramatically as they did the first time I left. Saying “good bye for now Memphis” had happened to me previously, although I returned, and somehow I wonder if after this first tour experience if I’d even fit there again, even if for a week or two at most. We will see.

We thought we could make it from Memphis to DC in a long day, although nothing is ever that easy. Two pets confused as to why the house they knew was empty, now in a stuffed car, the truck losing AC with the Uhaul attached, all on a 100 degree day crossing TN. We stayed at a rest stop in VA, and made the rest of the trek in the morning, only to then have to unload all of our stuff into the temporary one bedroom apartment. Meanwhile all dealing with emotions of leaving, still planning to get back there before renters took over, and the growing list of things to accomplish.

All this to say, I could not have done any of it without H. He is the hero here, and all times, and likely forever will be. An appreciation post on him later, maybe. We’ll see if I can negotiate my purchase for a countertop oven and nut/oat milk maker…..:)

He had some training to do after a quick weekend in DC, so I packed up the pets and headed to my parents house in IL until he was done with training and could meet me there before heading to Wisconsin for the Fourth of July. That was a 15 hour drive from Hades and I kept telling myself, never again. Probably will not at all be the case, because I love those places so much. After spending time with my family, Wisconsin, Chicagoland, we drove back to Memphis, then to Atlanta to say goodbye to his family. Then almost as soon as we got there, we headed onward yet again to DC to prepare for takeoff. A giant circle that encompassed most of the country east of the Mississippi River. All while trying to get our last tastes of the southern food that we appreciated, because we didn’t know what awaited us in Togo. **It’s good, stay tuned…

I could continue writing a long post on every move we made as pawns in the great game of moving abroad, sending all of our stuff away to be seen again with no definitive timeline. Saying goodbye to friends made along the way, dropping H, his sister, our pets off at Newark and driving myself through the Poconos on my way to Illinois YET AGAIN and being alone with my feelings and thoughts to process for the first time in a very long time. I could write about the drama of selling my car, using my passport to show a Best Buy employee what was what, saying goodbye yet again to my family since I stayed behind, mailing all the things we thought of later, couldn’t fit in luggage. Eating my last Chicago-style hotdog.

But good bye isn’t bye. It’s WhatsApp, Signal, Facebook Messenger, TextNow, texts, emails, FaceTime, Instagram. It’s the mail my parents have sent me, and while Amazon Prime isn’t almost instant delivery anymore, it does get to me in 2ish weeks.

“Bye”is so relative. Not good, not bad. For now it is temporary, and I need to keep reminding myself of that. It’s never “adieu,” it’s just an “au revoir” instead.

Full disclosure: This past week I’ve hit a real low. I’ll write more about this in 3 posts time because I’d like to share food that I’ve captured on camera, my rundown of travel items I don’t think anyone should miss out on, and some items I wish I had packed in my luggage, but also items here that make so much more sense than things in America. I hope you stay with me, this isn’t my best work, but as I commit to keeping you in the loop, it is helping me too. In a world full of what-the-heck moments, find lagom.